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Beast [userpic]

I

January 10th, 2008 (02:18 am)

Just thought I'd say.

I kind of plan to use my flickr as a blog. I much prefer to take photos and then write about why I took them and flickr is perfect for that.

2007 was a good year for me, not a good year for others I'm sure. And I'm sorry if I was anyway involved in fucking anyone up. Things have gone right, things have gone wrong, some of which I would change and others I wouldn't touch.

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peace

Beast [userpic]

So apparently

December 6th, 2007 (03:44 am)

MY LIVEJOURNAL IS BORING?!

Beast [userpic]

It's a mistake, but who knows?

November 25th, 2007 (01:22 pm)
song: C-c-c-c-c-co-CAINE

Essays are the least important thing right now.

More important is a gig report. A long one.

So, Lauren gets to Falmer Station (the University of Sussex station) at 11:45 p.m on the thursday night. I'm not there, so I get shouted at down the phone. I'm wearing my long coat so I feel like I look cool no matter what. I pick her up and we noodle our way back to my flat, to my flatmates, who I forgot to tell that she was coming. Score social communication points for me!

After talking for a bit, we go into my room and mess around on the computer and unpacking. Soon afterwards, we get geeky and sit in bed all cuddeled under the cover playing Mario Kart DS and Legend of Zelda battle mode on our Nintendo Ds's. By now it's about 2 o clock, I have a presentation in 7 hours. Yet we probably don't go to sleep for about another hour.

Sleepy-time falls, and every hour I wake up thinking shit omfg I've missed my presentation only to look at my phone and see it's only 5:30, 6:45, 7:30. So I get up at 7:30, have a shower, look over my notes, make myself look smart, text my presentation partner See you in the room 10 minutes early so we set up and sort out who says what.

I leave late, get there at 9 on the dot, he doesn't turn up 'till 9:15 and he doesn't have his notes, so spends another 15 minutes printing them out. Not a good start. While we're setting up the powerpoint presentation, Polly the seminar tutor asks Have you got a handout for the class, guys? and I jump in and say WE HAVE...um...it's just on the computer, we were going to e-mail it to everyone which seems to satisfy her in a grumpy way. Fair enough.

So, the presentation starts, I'm literally wetting myself, I hate public speaking.

But it went ok. We didn't really base our presentation around facts that we'd researched, it was all our own ideas on the subject which was Questioning Media Practices: Ethics surrounding the production of media. We started off kind of broadly talking about what sort of choices people make in the production of different media like reality television, but we focussed on photojournalism. Which gave us the opportunity to talk about controversial photos (falling man, vietnam, burning monk, Abu Ghraib) and digital manipulation which I love. I remember there was a point where I felt like I was just talking to myself instead of in front of an audience, which really calmed me down. And meant we could do our little uplifting joke at the end without worrying, where we photoshopped Polly's online profile photo and turned it into a police mugshot to emphasise our point about digital manipulation. The rest of the seminar was pretty much about the photos we used in the presentation, our aim was to make a memorable presentation and I think we did just that.


I meet Lauren near the union shop and we go shopping and buy lots of food which comes to a lot more than it should have done. But I have food, and it feels good that my cupboards aren't empty.

We go back to my room and occupy ourselves for a while.

We eat microwave burgers, and I head off to meet my video workshop group to work on editing of our documentary. I tell lauren I'll only be 45 minutes to an hour. I'm there from about 2:15 to 4:00. When I leave, I phone up ticketweb to say my ticket for Queens of the Stone Age hasn't arrived and the gigs on monday and what can I do I want to go. But I'm on hold for about 20 minutes. And when they pick up, I say my name, confirmation number, address and that my tickets haven't arrived and they say I'll just get them reprinted for you. Sorted. I pick them up at Brixton Academy on Monday.

Back at my room, we get our stuff ready to go see QOTSA (yes I'm seeing them twice in the space of 4 days, go away) and head off to catch the train. Armed with a packet of kettle chips and a bottle of water.

We get to town at about 4:45, and head off to find where we're suppose to queue up to get into the Brighton Dome concert hall. We see two guys waiting, and we figure that's where it is. Doors don't open until 7, so we go off to get food, and ask in the box office if they know which door. I get a couple of slices of take-out MEAT FEAST pizza. Lauren wants noodles, so we go to this little japanese place called POMPOKO, she gets chicken noodles and some prawns. We go and sit by the stage door of the Brighton Dome hoping we might catch a glimpse of someone cool. We don't, but it's nice anyway.

I text ben and I'm all like yer, I'm seeing QOTSA tonight, and then on monday, and then again in February and he's all like fucker. I shall be seeing him in a few weeks, haven't seen him for about 2 or 3 months.

It hits 6, and we decide to go and queue up. There's a crowd of about 6 or 7 people, so we just jump on the end. We stand around for ages trying to warm our feets on the ground lights, which did seem to defrost my toes a bit.

Finally, we head in, Lauren goes off to look at the merch and get me some cider while I wait by the main doors. I then head in and nab a spot front-row-center, Lauren follows spilling cider everywhere. And there we stand. I go off to the toilet, and then can't go because two guys come and stand either side of me at urinals. So I manage to get a bit out, then head back to the stage. After another 10 minutes, I realise this was a bad move and that now I desperatly need the toilet. I head back, and find a cubicle, HUZZAH. Then head back again to the stage. We sort out lauren's cameras for taking gig photos, which it's not great at but by the end of the gig I'm getting some ok photos.

The 80's Matchbox B-Line Disaster come out, and they're pretty good. Their sound isn't really loud enough and some twatface behind me is heckling them for half of their set which kind of puts a downer on it. It's awkward when the band thinks that noone wants to listen to them, but everyone was dancing and jumping apart from this shouting twat.

Though they didn't really fill the stage. It seemed too big for them, I'd like to see them in a smaller venue in brighton like the Engine Room or Concorde 2.

I'm pretty bad at describing gigs, as if you read my last entry, I often go into a little musical wonderland. I did in this gig a few times, to be rudely brought back by Lauren. Which was good.

So on come QOTSA, to "Dance to the Music". Everyone is so immensly excited you can feel the crowd buzzing. We're pretty much in the gap between Troy van Leeuen and Josh Homme, infront of Dean on the keys who is a bit further back, giving Troy the opportunity to come and stand right infront of us for a lot of the gig. Setlist:

Hanging Tree
Burn the Witch
Into the Hollow
Misfit love
Do it Again
Go With the Flow
You Can't Quit Me Baby
In The Fade
Little Sister
Battery Acid
Make It Wit Chu
Tangled up in Plaid
Turnin' on the Screw
Sick Sick Sick

No One Knows
Song For The Dead

Photos







Just a few of the few decent ones I got. The gig really was immense. Got completely pulverised though. I kept making eye contact with Troy throughout the whole gig, and at the end I pointed at him in sort of a "YOU THE MAN" sort of way, and he looked at me, nodded, and threw his plectrum to me. Which flew in the complete other direction. Luckily a kind security guard got me a plectrum. That's one from Josh (100 Club) and one from Troy.

Aftergigwards, we sort of hung around, saw some people from the RR forum but didn't go and talk because I just think that would be awkward. So we headed back to campus after some shit about donuts and costing too much. Went back to my room, then headed off to find Katy and Oli, who were with other delightful univeristy people. We didn't stay very long though, Lauren was knackered.

Roll on Monday. Not only do I get to see QOTSA again, but I get to go home for the evening.

Beast [userpic]

I like to....

November 20th, 2007 (08:27 pm)

listen to frank zappa really loudly

I think my flatmates plan the days that I choose to do work and stuff to go out. I mean...I'd like to go out with them. They just don't say they're doing anything 'till the evening.

Well, this essay and presentation needs to be done anyhow.

Beast [userpic]

Is it possible?

November 15th, 2007 (01:21 pm)

My eyes closed, I savour every single second. I'm in a field. I'm on the beach. I'm 15 again. There are no sounds apart from the music. Maybe I can hear a breeze or wind blowing, or perhaps even a distant thunderstorm. But not here. Here is perfect and I don't have to worry about anything else.

A passing thought - Do I look strange doing this? - shoots through my head.
This is irrelevant , because I'm sure anybody else in my situation would feel the same.

I breathe.

A camera flashes. For a moment in time, I can't see anything. My eyes are open now, but yet to adjust. They focus. I feel shut in. Trapped. I look around at all the other people, for some room. Space to breathe. Then I remember where I am. Slowly, I sink back into the music.

This must be the reason why music exists. To have bands where they work as a whole being, an entity, you can see how much emotion they put into their music and that it really means something.

I close my eyes.

Beast [userpic]

I'm just trying...

November 9th, 2007 (12:53 am)

For the past year of my life, I have had no life. Pretty much. No social life. I had an amazing gap year though, I wouldn't have really changed it.

Let me start again.

Since 6th form, being the september 2004 to july 2006, I had no social life. I barely even had any friends. I don't know the reason why, but I got really excluded really quickly from the 6th form "cliques".

or, I might know the reason why.

So...why in any way or form should I feel bad for going out and getting drunk with these new people I have met that I might just dare to call my friends? I'm just having a good time, it's been so long since I've been able to sit around a table with people that I feel completely comfortable with.

I can't solve anybody's problems, especially if I'm hundreds of miles away.

I hate livejournal. I dislike it when people have conversations over livejournal, or leave entries specifically aimed at one person. Being a hypotcrite there. It's like...our own problems, it just makes it worse if you know that they've technically been bitching to strangers also. "Strangers" being usely used there. Personal Strangers, ha.

It's not easy to change. I can't just click and be different. It's been a long time since I've used a certain four letter word to anyone, and I don't know if I can use it anytime soon. It's too confusing. And I feel terrible about it.







Heroes is a pretty fucking cool tv show.

Beast [userpic]

A month at university. Nearly

October 17th, 2007 (01:24 am)
dirty

location: 40E
mood: dirty

So I'm sitting here. It's, what, half past 1 nearly. And I'm thinking...is this really what university's about? Something inside me wants more lectures and things to ensure that I actually do work, I am really not very motivated. I went out saturday night, sunday night, last night. Only got a bit drunk last night out of all of those nights, but getting to sleep at 2 really renders the next morning useless as I don't get up 'till half 12 or so. And then before I know it, I'm going out again.

Tomorrow night's a "big" night at the new club Ociana...Oceana....whatever. I don't care. But everyone is going, almost every single person I've met is going. So I feel pressured into going, though I have a 9 a.m lecture on thursday.

I'm heading home for the weekend, after a "big" family get together in London on friday night. It's like...every 6 months, me, my sister, my mum and my dad actually seem to all go and have a meal. But this time, me and my sister will have our OTHER HALFS with us. It'll be the first time I meet the elusive "ED".

I can't tell if that smell is my socks, or the weed-smoke seeping out of the room next door into mine.

I've been having a pretty fucking cool time here. Met some really great people, and I'm getting into my course now. I start filming my 2 minute practise documentary tomorrow, I'm going to try and commendere cameraman role. I never realised how much setting up a camera shot is like setting up a photography shoot. I mean...I know it sounds obvious, but I've always distinguished between still and moving images in a big way.

It's definitely  not my socks.

And I'm in Brighton. I love Brighton ina  big way. Went exploring again with my new friend Katy and we went to all the music and comic shops and stuff. I really hope I don't end up boring the people I have met her, I do have a tendency to run out of things to say and then panic about it.

So tonight the girls had an Ann Summers party and all bought dildos. And some penis soap. Cool, I guess. Then they all came down to our flat and we had a party for Michelle, who lives in the flat opposite. Though...she's been gone for about 3 hours, noone really noticed. The girls all got wasted, the guys got wasted, but I drank little so I could document it all with my canon.

Which brings me onto Clifford.

Clifford is a skull. A plastic, hollowed out skull, with a spinal chord. Which gets used at every party for downing drinks. Through the spinal chord. So, I had some cider and shared half a can of beer from Clifford

"CLIFFORD, CLIFFORD, CLIFFORD, CLIFFORD"

which wasn't that bad. I don't like beer, but when it's open your throat or spit it everywhere, you open your throat. Anyway, I think I got a shot of almost everyone at the party drinking from Clifford. Perfect facebook material. Oh, how hard it is to be a student.

Ten when the drinking was done, the hotboxing began.

Now, I'm not a big weed-smoker. At all. I'll admit I've done it once, and I hope my family never read that. Which I guess shows that I'm kind of ashamed because my mum makes a big deal of it, but the act itself doesn't bother me. Well, they plugged the smoke detector in one of the bedrooms with condoms and put a sock over it and started smoking weed. This was ok, but then everyone moved in there...I didn't really want to be left on my own

PEER PRESSURE, no?

So I went in and sat down, the lights were turned off and we listened to some music. As I said, I'm not a smoker, so I decided to leave after this girl tried to shove a spliff into my mouth, after about 15 minutes being in there. I'm not a smoker, but I'm not really against smoking that, but I'd prefer to, if ever, do it with people I'm really comfortable with, rather than just on a whim.

All I can say is my eyes are tired. Not really like in Amsterdam when I felt like I just needed to eat chips covered in mayonaise.

The hallway reeks of pot, I hope it's gone by morning.

I proceded to lay around in my flatmates room while her and this spanish-english guy Ettienne phoned random numbers on the phone. We got Simon, who wouldn't tell us what he was wearing, and Claire who spoke to everyone but hung up when I spoke to her. Utter, utter bitch. I hope I never fucking meet Claire.

But to be fair, it was 1 in the morning. So I don't blame her.

I have Closer by Nine Inch Nails on repeat. It turns me on. Srsly.

I'm worried by the fact I probably drunk more in Freshers Week than I have done in my entire life. Still waiting for that excuse to get that hammered again. Maybe Saturday, back in the 'stone, I think me and Lauren are gonna hit the pubs for real. Not clubs though, because the ones in Maidstone suck.

My sore throat felt a bit better after sitting in that room. Medicinal, eh?

Beast [userpic]

FUTURE LIVING CONDITIONS

September 19th, 2007 (12:23 am)

I'm going to university in about 5 days.

I have a wierd mixed feeling of anxiety and hope.

Beast [userpic]

It's been a long time

August 16th, 2007 (10:28 pm)
song: Susumu Yokota

Ok.

So, I'm just realllly bad at updating this thing. Just...really bad. Kinky.


So...it's been a year. Almost a year exactly? To the day maybe. A year since I thought I'd completely messed up my life for good.

I got BBC as my grades for my A-levels, when I needed BBB to get into the only university I had put down on my UCAS, being Sussex.

I was majorly depressed. It opened up what seemed like an endless void in my life...as I just hadn't planned for not getting into Univeristy. Completely messed me up.


Really, it has been an excellent year for me. Having to take a gap year really has made me a better person, I feel.

I've learnt to drive.
I've done work experience at a television studio and photography studio
I've travelled on my own to various places, something which I used to dislike. Cambridge, Amsterdam, I've stayed in London about 3 or 4 times.
I've got a real job
I passed my History resit by mainly self-tutoring

It's really all given me a massive confidence boost, and I feel a lot more prepared for going to univeristy this year than I was last year.

Which is Sussex. I totally feel like getting into University this year has been almost like a reward for not wasting my year. Apart from the first few months of my gap year where all I did was sit around in my pyjamas, not shave and watch Dragonball Z.

But yeah...I'm totally getting a karma vibe from the last year. Good things happen to good people, and when the bad things happen...everything happens for a reason. And literally...everything is connected to me. The amount of coincidences in my life are astronomical.

Taking just today for example...I was thinking about a holiday to Cuba I took and about how I didn't have a cigar from Cuba...then my friend Dom gave me a cigar for  a late-birthday present. Also, I was thinking about how the guy I was work shadowing at the Maidstone Television Studios had driven me around this particular part of maidstone...and then I saw the receptionist from the Maidstone Studios.

So strange. Also some fortune cookie stuff which literally isn't important.


Tomorrow I go on holiday to Hong Kong and then onto Australia. So excited and scared. Haven't been away from home for that long in ages. And then only 2 weeks 'till I go to university when I get back. One of which will be without mah bestest buddy Lauren =( And then all the weeks after that 'till the christmas holidays or whenever.

Boo.
 
Oh well. This is life, this is how we choose to live it. And as I said...everything happens for a reason.

Beast [userpic]

an update

July 8th, 2007 (11:20 pm)
song: UNKLE

another monthly update to be coming soon

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